What's wrong with with that? If they want to have that many children, it is just as valid as people not wanting children, or adopting children.
What if a gay couple have quadruplets? (http://abcnews.go.com/sections/GMA/GoodMorningAmerica/GMA020912Gay_parent_quadruplets.html)
As long as every child is wanted and is loved and raised in a safe and nurturing environment, it doesn't matter to me how many kids people decide to have.
I've never seen or heard of a child being raised in a family that large that didn't have some fairly serious mental health issues. It's impossible for parents to pay enough attention to each child under circumstances like that.
Mike is the oldest (by 7 years) of 5, and he suffered for it, even just with that small a number. His mom was always either pregnant or recovering from a pregnancy and his dad was always working to try to support them, so he became the de facto parent for the rest of the kids. The same happens in other large families, and often older children go to work to support the younger ones, too. Children shouldn't be forced to have to parent their siblings when they themselves aren't even done growing up. They lose a sense of identity, of individualism, of their own needs mattering, and it leads to a lot of problems forming healthy relationships later on. It takes away the childhood from those children. I think it's abusive.
So you're accusing these people of child abuse. Nice.
You're also making some assumptions about this particular family and their dynamics. I work with a man that works two jobs so his wife can stay home with their 8 kids, and their house is messy, sure, but they've got great kids that are homeschooled, and play sports, and well, why not. There are just as many kids that are only children or have one sibling that are neglected or have to parent their siblings. I can think of one friend right now that was basically raised by his sister because their mother was in and out of mental institutions. It's sad, but someone took a responsibility there, and if it is an older sibling, then that's better than a foster parent or an aunt or grandmother that is too old and unfamiliar with the kid. I know his sister, and she isn't the worse for the experience.
What bothers me is a kid that is raised in an indulgent manner, and has control over the parents. Those kids are not well-prepared for life, because they have this sense of entitlement- that everything will be given to them just because they *need* it rightnow, not because they've worked towards a goal.
As for saying big families create a sense of all the things you listed, I could just as easily find an article about the family that has 8 kids, all of them Merit Scholars and Ivy-League. What your husband went through and stories you've heard about other people's large families probably involve more variables than family size.
I just think, why buy yourself potential trouble? Undoubtedly there are situations like that that work out just fine, just like there are undoubtedly situations where a crack addict single mom manages to raise four kids that turn out okay. But it's by no means an ideal situation. Even if you can afford to pay for that many kids (and that's assuming that whatever well-paying job the father has doesn't go away, and assuming none of the kids goes to college or has any major medical needs) you still have the issues of neglect. I can't imagine even taking care of fifteen dogs, much less fifteen children. Six, maybe. Eight is pushing it. Fifteen? How? How does that work? How can two people raise fifteen children without them all going feral? In a larger, communal or village-living situation, I can see how it would work. I can actually see how multi-spouse families can work with that many kids. But two parents cannot raise fifteen kids without something going wrong.
And that doesn't even get into the larger social issues of overpopulation and being a resource drain.
Parenting is one of the biggest responsibilities any person can have. And it makes me sick how casually some people take it.
Ok, that's sick. 15 children is way past a woman's reproductive rights, it's downright irresponsible from an environmental and population control standpoint.
It is nothing to be proud of unless she's just grateful she survived and the kids survived.
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momijizukamori
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What if a gay couple have quadruplets? (http://abcnews.go.com/sections/GMA/GoodMorningAmerica/GMA020912Gay_parent_quadruplets.html)
As long as every child is wanted and is loved and raised in a safe and nurturing environment, it doesn't matter to me how many kids people decide to have.
no subject
Mike is the oldest (by 7 years) of 5, and he suffered for it, even just with that small a number. His mom was always either pregnant or recovering from a pregnancy and his dad was always working to try to support them, so he became the de facto parent for the rest of the kids. The same happens in other large families, and often older children go to work to support the younger ones, too. Children shouldn't be forced to have to parent their siblings when they themselves aren't even done growing up. They lose a sense of identity, of individualism, of their own needs mattering, and it leads to a lot of problems forming healthy relationships later on. It takes away the childhood from those children. I think it's abusive.
no subject
You're also making some assumptions about this particular family and their dynamics. I work with a man that works two jobs so his wife can stay home with their 8 kids, and their house is messy, sure, but they've got great kids that are homeschooled, and play sports, and well, why not. There are just as many kids that are only children or have one sibling that are neglected or have to parent their siblings. I can think of one friend right now that was basically raised by his sister because their mother was in and out of mental institutions. It's sad, but someone took a responsibility there, and if it is an older sibling, then that's better than a foster parent or an aunt or grandmother that is too old and unfamiliar with the kid. I know his sister, and she isn't the worse for the experience.
What bothers me is a kid that is raised in an indulgent manner, and has control over the parents. Those kids are not well-prepared for life, because they have this sense of entitlement- that everything will be given to them just because they *need* it rightnow, not because they've worked towards a goal.
As for saying big families create a sense of all the things you listed, I could just as easily find an article about the family that has 8 kids, all of them Merit Scholars and Ivy-League. What your husband went through and stories you've heard about other people's large families probably involve more variables than family size.
And that's all I'm going to say about that.
no subject
I just think, why buy yourself potential trouble? Undoubtedly there are situations like that that work out just fine, just like there are undoubtedly situations where a crack addict single mom manages to raise four kids that turn out okay. But it's by no means an ideal situation. Even if you can afford to pay for that many kids (and that's assuming that whatever well-paying job the father has doesn't go away, and assuming none of the kids goes to college or has any major medical needs) you still have the issues of neglect. I can't imagine even taking care of fifteen dogs, much less fifteen children. Six, maybe. Eight is pushing it. Fifteen? How? How does that work? How can two people raise fifteen children without them all going feral? In a larger, communal or village-living situation, I can see how it would work. I can actually see how multi-spouse families can work with that many kids. But two parents cannot raise fifteen kids without something going wrong.
And that doesn't even get into the larger social issues of overpopulation and being a resource drain.
Parenting is one of the biggest responsibilities any person can have. And it makes me sick how casually some people take it.
no subject
It is nothing to be proud of unless she's just grateful she survived and the kids survived.