Tragedies of the commoners

What with this whole KomenCorp/Planned Parenthood funding debacle, I'm seeing an uptick in folks talking about abortion. Most of this is sensible, of course--I try to stay away from places where people think women are obligated to go through pain, misery and the risk of death for the sake of an amorphous clump of cells--but I've also seen a bit of the "oh, abortion is such a tragedy" sort of thing, too.

Ugh.

Abortion is NOT a tragedy.

You know what really is a tragedy?

-The fact that contraceptives aren't 100% effective, healthy, free, and readily available to anyone who wants them.

-The fact that so many girls and young women think their sexuality is the most or only valuable thing about them, or who are afraid to say no to sex they don't want, or to ask their partner to use contraception.

-The fact that so many boys and young men think that marriage and fatherhood are inherently weak or uncool, and that sexual conquest without respect for their partner is a badge of honor.

-The fact that we don't immediately remove children from abusive homes, and lock up sexual predators for good.

-The fact that sex education is incomplete, wrong, or utterly nonexistent for millions of kids because we've allowed religion to trump science, and because we treat sex as something inherently dirty and immoral.

-The fact that we don't have universal health care which would improve reproductive health across the board, and also ensure that women facing an unintended or complicated pregnancy don't choose abortion solely because they otherwise couldn't afford the medical costs.

-The fact that many poor women choose to abort solely because they can't afford to raise the child.

-The fact that we have a horrible cultural split in how we see mothers: as either saints or demons. We create a cultural standard in which mothers are revered beyond any other role a woman can play, and then wonder why so many girls and young women choose motherhood before they're ready. And then, when they have gone down that path, if they didn't do it the "right" way, we call them lazy sluts, leeching off the government.

-The fact that adoption is a minefield of both cultural stigma and overly-complex (and expensive) bureaucracy, making it incredibly difficult for women who want to choose that to find waiting families. (Seriously: don't get me started on the horrific class divide involved; so many girls/women adopting out only because they can't afford to parent, and so many parents of modest means unable to adopt because they can't afford it. Gross.)

If we weren't such a borked country, the number of abortions would be next to nothing because the number of unintended or problem pregnancies would be next to nothing. But because we are so borked, it's ridiculous to call abortion a tragedy when it's quite often the best solution under far-more-fucked-up circumstances. Abortion will and always should exist, because there will always be circumstances in which it's necessary. But for the love of FSM, why can't we fix all that other stuff that has the rate so damned high to begin with?

I love people. Really.

Just scanned the introvert quiz posted by thefirstalicat and was unsurprised to see I scored relatively high. However, there were a few items that were not only not true for me, but were an emphatic "no."

See, I'm a weird combo of introvert (or Aspie, possibly) and ADD. I adore multitasking, for instance, and am hardly a slow-and-thoughtful speaker. I have a hard time finishing things, I'm impulsive and I always have six dozen different projects in various states of completion. It's actually quite hard to get me to shut up when I'm chattering along with people I like on subjects that interest me.

But it may be because I'm so scattered and chaotic to begin with that adding more people into that mix is maddening for me. The more people around when I'm trying to get something done, the less likely I am to do so. Every person around me is another demand for my attention, and since there are usually a dozen of those just on baseline, I quickly get overwhelmed and shut down. And if the people in question don't have significant value in some way or other, I actually get angry. I absolutely hate the idea of working in a "collaborative environment" (read: open-office plan) because the constant buzz and nonsensical chitchat around me would make it impossible to get anything done. (Oh, gee. I've gravitated toward being a writer. Duh. ;) )

I'm somewhat less upset when there's order to a crowd, and when I'm somewhat separated from it. I adore performing, for instance, even though there are people everywhere, because it's something I have control over, and something that has a rehearsed, set order of business and social expectations. The audience is expected to shut up and let me do my thing, and to react when and how I want them to. There's little danger of them getting in my face and throwing me off my game, which is what happens with virtually every other kind of work I've ever tried to do that involves being around other people.

I think this may be why I didn't quite succeed in a traditional journalism career. I can think on my feet and react to breaking news in an instant. I can keep multiple plates spinning. I can, actually, handle the buzz and chaos of a newsroom, because it's a tightly coordinated dance in which everyone plays a part. But when it comes to going out there and managing the public for first-person reporting? I'm entirely useless. Park me in a corner of the newsroom and let me go to town researching data, checking facts or editing copy/layout/photos/code, and I'm perfectly content. But throw me out with a voice recorder and notepad and tell me to get in the middle of a news event? Oh, good lord. Panic city. Reporting class was the one thing I was miserable in, because there was too much being-naked-in-public stuff for me.

I've worried a little bit about how I'm going to handle parenting, since little kids aren't exactly predictable, and they don't easily understand the whole "Mama's working. If you're not bleeding, go away" thing. But I think that'll be different for me than it is with adults. If you're old enough to know that I don't like being disturbed when I'm working, and you do it any way? I will set you on fire. If you're three and are just so damned excited about learning how to somersault that just you HAVE to show me? Fair enough. Though I will do my best to train you to understand those boundaries, as part of a general "learning how to respect others" education.

So, yeah. I dunno if I'm introverted so much as just avoiding the mental monkey wrench that other people throw in my works. I like people, but I get really, really angry with those who think that they have the right to interrupt what others are doing for any reason other than something vital. I get that others thrive on collaboration and constant feedback and interaction. I respect their desires to have jobs and working/social environments that support that. But I also expect people to respect that I'm completely the opposite. If I tell you that I need to work alone, for the love of fuck, let me work alone.

We Are The Women Of Planned Parenthood

An awesome friend had an awesome poster idea this morning, so I made it:

Clicky to embiggen

Freedom and choice

Thinking further about abortion-related issues tonight ...

IMHO, the difference between progressive and libertarian thought comes down to this:

Libertarians assume that if government/society (and, occasionally, religion) simply gets out of the way, everyone will be free to make whatever choices in life make them happiest.

Progressives know that without a public framework in place to ensure that everyone, no matter where they start in life, has access to every choice available, there is no such thing as true freedom of choice.

( We are all created equal. But we are not all born equal. )

As the bumper sticker says: no one is truly free while others are oppressed. And if we continue to allow this oppression under the idea that overreaching authority is the only thing standing in the way of everyone being free, happy little clams, we are shirking our responsibilities as human beings in a civilized society.