textualdeviance | I'm probably a superhero, now

Isn't that what happens when one gets microwaved? Yeah.

Aside from taking forever to actually get me in, the first part of it was fine. Doc and nurses were cool, and the anesthesiologist was a totally hot Korean boy (who was also extremely good at his job, seeing as how I'm alive and all.)

This is what they did on me. Apparently took no time at all--I was knocked out by 10:30 and woke up at 11:15. Doc told M that the worst bit was trying to get me dilated (even with the drugs I'd had the night before.) That whole never-having-kids thing meant my cervix was a tough nut to crack. That, and I think it must've been tough anyway, given how much pain I've always been in with anything else trying to pass through it (hence part of why I was having this done!) But, they managed to wrench me open and nuke me, so it must've gone OK.

As I expected, however, recovery was dreadful. The pain when I first woke up was spectacular, but a) I couldn't move/speak well enough to beg for drugs and b) when I finally could, they were only able to give me a little Fentanyl, because I kept forgetting to breathe. When I finally started doing more of that, they moved me into another room and made me drink some juice and eat some crackers before they gave me anything else. I don't think I've ever wanted food any less than I did then, but I stuffed them down anyway because DRUGS OMG GIMMEH. Felt like it took forever to start feeling conscious/not queasy/not gonna die from pain, but eventually they kicked me out (though, not without one of the recovery nurses lecturing me about my blood pressure. WTF. Dood, I just had surgery and you're bitching about the readings I'm having now, and assuming they're this bad all the time and blowing you off when I tell you otherwise? Seriously, shut the hell up. If I'd had more energy to bitch, I'd have set M on her.)

Anyway, after two horrible hours of recovery and two more horrible ones at home, I finally started feeling functional. Doing even better this morning after a proper night's sleep and eventually getting some real food down me yesterday. I'm still hurty, but the stabbity girlybits pain is mostly at bay. Most of what I have now is feeling like my whole body is bruised and some irritation from the catheter they stuck in me. Oh, and some lingering respiratory weirdness from having been intubated for the anesthesia. Still coughing up chunks from that, which kinda makes the rest of the soreness worse. But I'm functional. Haven't even taken the good drugs yet today, and only now downed a couple of Advil. Not even bleeding much at all, which is a good sign that the procedure worked well.

Actually kind of surprised about how good I feel at the moment, but still not going to be running marathons anytime soon. Planning to dick around with some intarweebs/UK trip business this morning, and then go park in the theater. Hoping work is slow the rest of the week, too.

Won't know for a while yet exactly how effective the procedure was--results are a little different for everyone--but as far as I can tell right now, that nasty midsection badger should be well euthanized. Really looking forward to a future without that kind of pain ever again. Of course, I still have all my other health problems to deal with, but knowing that this particular one is more or less dealt with permanently is quite a relief.