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textualdevianceI think I've discovered one of the reasons I dislike working full-time--or, more specifically, why I dislike working this particular schedule (10-6): Because I'm on Pacific time, by the time I get off work and get home, half the people I want to talk to are already asleep or close to it. Other left-coasties are still up, o'course, but as most of my fandom peeps are at least three hours ahead of me, I'm finding myself with little time to talk to them these days, dangit.
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I also don't have time during my workday for such things anymore. I'm enjoying having a lot more hands-on work on the site, but it's a hell of a time sink, and that, plus my former news and gallery production stuff, is absolutely draining me. I'm finally ramped up enough with the new stuff that I can get it done fairly quickly during the day, but it took a while to get there, and it's still taking up half the day. I haven't had more downtime than 10-15-minute breaks here and there for the last two weeks, and it's starting to grind me down.
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Doesn't help that I seem to be nursing the world's most stubborn, low-level cold, which M has had for a few weeks before I finally got it. May be a mild flu virus, since there's a fever with it (though I got a flu shot, so it'd be milder still.) It's annoying as hell, though. Headaches, exhaustion, nose issues, etc. I have so little free time as it is that losing precious hours to the extra sleep I need right now is bugging me like crazy.
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Said free time is especially important to me because the new gig has so little opportunity for creative stuff that I'm going slightly mad, wishing I had more time to write or vid or do something generated in large part by my own imagination. I'm good at what I do here and I enjoy being paid well for it, but damn, it's soul-sucking for a creative person to just be pushing buttons like this. I'd hoped I could do NaNo this year (albeit cheating a bit, as I was just going to work on my novel) but that's not happening. Poo. I did manage to squeeze in a couple hours' fic writing last night, however, and that felt really good. Slept better than I have in days, even though I didn't really get the full amount I usually need.
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The other thing I haven't had free time for is properly grieving the loss of my dear Fammy. In a way, I sort of let her go a few days before we actually did so. I knew she wasn't going to last even before we got the cancer diagnosis, and that pretty much sealed it. Unfortunately, I found that out at work, and what few moments I had to digest the shock and grief were cut short by my boss showing up in my office, and I haven't been able to sit down and really get through it since. In a way, this has been good--distraction helps--but I'm also still living with this small-but-gnawing ball of sadness that I can't fully process yet. Maybe sometime this weekend I can do so. Dunno.
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I have about a thousand things I'd like to say about the election, particularly how depressing it is to see how misinformation, downright lies and willful ignorance has permeated large chunks of our culture, but it'd just make me more angry to think about it. I did write something on my political journal about it, though, and the bright spot in addition to that is knowing that most of the more horrid racist, sexist, homophobic, poor-hating crap is coming from older folks who are rapidly becoming eclipsed. The big challenge, really, is getting younger voters to actually put their decent opinions to work by voting. Far too many of them just can't be bothered, or are so disillusioned by the cacophony that they're avoiding politics entirely--when that should be what rallies them to fight harder. It shouldn't take a charismatic rock star (new hotness) to motivate people to do their civic duty. The vicious circle (Government doesn't represent me, therefore I'm not going to participate in government) just gets worse every year if we can't step in and disavow people of the notion that government is some faceless monolith and not, y'know, us.
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Don't know yet whether I'll be able to make that UK event in February. Hoping I can figure it out soon, as the deadline for getting ticket refunds is coming up.
--
I also don't have time during my workday for such things anymore. I'm enjoying having a lot more hands-on work on the site, but it's a hell of a time sink, and that, plus my former news and gallery production stuff, is absolutely draining me. I'm finally ramped up enough with the new stuff that I can get it done fairly quickly during the day, but it took a while to get there, and it's still taking up half the day. I haven't had more downtime than 10-15-minute breaks here and there for the last two weeks, and it's starting to grind me down.
--
Doesn't help that I seem to be nursing the world's most stubborn, low-level cold, which M has had for a few weeks before I finally got it. May be a mild flu virus, since there's a fever with it (though I got a flu shot, so it'd be milder still.) It's annoying as hell, though. Headaches, exhaustion, nose issues, etc. I have so little free time as it is that losing precious hours to the extra sleep I need right now is bugging me like crazy.
--
Said free time is especially important to me because the new gig has so little opportunity for creative stuff that I'm going slightly mad, wishing I had more time to write or vid or do something generated in large part by my own imagination. I'm good at what I do here and I enjoy being paid well for it, but damn, it's soul-sucking for a creative person to just be pushing buttons like this. I'd hoped I could do NaNo this year (albeit cheating a bit, as I was just going to work on my novel) but that's not happening. Poo. I did manage to squeeze in a couple hours' fic writing last night, however, and that felt really good. Slept better than I have in days, even though I didn't really get the full amount I usually need.
--
The other thing I haven't had free time for is properly grieving the loss of my dear Fammy. In a way, I sort of let her go a few days before we actually did so. I knew she wasn't going to last even before we got the cancer diagnosis, and that pretty much sealed it. Unfortunately, I found that out at work, and what few moments I had to digest the shock and grief were cut short by my boss showing up in my office, and I haven't been able to sit down and really get through it since. In a way, this has been good--distraction helps--but I'm also still living with this small-but-gnawing ball of sadness that I can't fully process yet. Maybe sometime this weekend I can do so. Dunno.
--
I have about a thousand things I'd like to say about the election, particularly how depressing it is to see how misinformation, downright lies and willful ignorance has permeated large chunks of our culture, but it'd just make me more angry to think about it. I did write something on my political journal about it, though, and the bright spot in addition to that is knowing that most of the more horrid racist, sexist, homophobic, poor-hating crap is coming from older folks who are rapidly becoming eclipsed. The big challenge, really, is getting younger voters to actually put their decent opinions to work by voting. Far too many of them just can't be bothered, or are so disillusioned by the cacophony that they're avoiding politics entirely--when that should be what rallies them to fight harder. It shouldn't take a charismatic rock star (new hotness) to motivate people to do their civic duty. The vicious circle (Government doesn't represent me, therefore I'm not going to participate in government) just gets worse every year if we can't step in and disavow people of the notion that government is some faceless monolith and not, y'know, us.
--
Don't know yet whether I'll be able to make that UK event in February. Hoping I can figure it out soon, as the deadline for getting ticket refunds is coming up.
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