Aug. 5th, 2010 02:03 pm
Skinny little bitches
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textualdevianceDon't remember where I saw it, but I saw a comment earlier today from a guy who was defending a slender actress against accusations of eating disorders. His point, which I found interesting, was that the woman in question was naturally slim, as opposed to someone who's using artifical means to try to get to that size when that's not what their body is built like.
Given my general feelings around body image issues and fat positivity and all that, it probably surprises some folks that I do get the hots for people who are average size or even downright tiny. Most of my hobbitses, for instance. Handrew (and lovely sister Sarah). And, lately, Neillison.
Something that all of those small folks have in common, though, is that that's the size they naturally are. That's how they're built. You can tell from their bone structure that they're not meant to be broader or curvier or whatever. They undoubtedly do stuff here and there to keep healthy, but they're not doing something terrible to themselves to get to the size they are.
On the other hand, someone like Christina Hendricks would have to do some pretty awful things to her body to get as small as Allison, and she'd end up looking really weird because that's not what her body is supposed to be.
I have no animosity toward naturally slim folks for being what they are. What bothers me is that their body type has been held up by our culture as the ultimate ideal for everyone, because that robs people of their individuality.
It would be criminal if, say, Lucy Brown tried to do something to herself to look more like Hannah, or if Hannah got it into her head that she should get implants to have boobs like Lucy's. I should hope that neither one of them ever feels that she is in any way inadequate because she doesn't look enough like the other, because they are both stunningly beautiful in their own unique ways.
I wish more people understood that one size simply does not fit all. There is a very wide range of natural variation in how humans are built, and stupid, height-based calculations like the BMI are useless, unscientific trash that tell us nothing about what our own individual body's needs are. Sheepdogs, after all, may be roughly the same height as a Saluki, but they're built completely differently, and it would be absurd to try to get them to look like that.
Humans, like dogs, are an extremely physically diverse species, and setting up any one body type--whether that's bone structure, muscle development/definition, eye shape or skin color--as some sort of goal that we're all supposed to try to reach is not just unfair and unrealistic, but actually causing people to do violence to themselves and each other when someone deviates too far from that standard.
Contrary to what industry wants us to believe (so we'll buy their products), neither beauty nor health actually has any one particular look or shape. What's definitely NOT beautiful or healthy, however, is an expensive, body-attacking pursuit of looking like someone else, which in the process helps to fuel a hateful cultural standard that makes other people feel compelled to do the same thing.
These pressures being what they are--pervasive, relentless and often with consequences attached--it can be very, very hard to resist them. I know some people can't, because the cost is too great. But for those of us who do have a choice, we really ought to be choosing to let go of that pursuit, because it helps lessen those pressures for everyone else, so they themselves can have more choices.
Of course some people are going to naturally fit those cultural standards, and yes, they get unfair levels of social perks for it. But skinny little bitches aren't the enemy. Many of them, in fact, are lovely people for whom I have great affection and attraction. The real enemy? The asshats sitting behind a desk counting the scads of money we give them because we've been told that unless we try to look like said skinny little bitches, we're worthless.
Given my general feelings around body image issues and fat positivity and all that, it probably surprises some folks that I do get the hots for people who are average size or even downright tiny. Most of my hobbitses, for instance. Handrew (and lovely sister Sarah). And, lately, Neillison.
Something that all of those small folks have in common, though, is that that's the size they naturally are. That's how they're built. You can tell from their bone structure that they're not meant to be broader or curvier or whatever. They undoubtedly do stuff here and there to keep healthy, but they're not doing something terrible to themselves to get to the size they are.
On the other hand, someone like Christina Hendricks would have to do some pretty awful things to her body to get as small as Allison, and she'd end up looking really weird because that's not what her body is supposed to be.
I have no animosity toward naturally slim folks for being what they are. What bothers me is that their body type has been held up by our culture as the ultimate ideal for everyone, because that robs people of their individuality.
It would be criminal if, say, Lucy Brown tried to do something to herself to look more like Hannah, or if Hannah got it into her head that she should get implants to have boobs like Lucy's. I should hope that neither one of them ever feels that she is in any way inadequate because she doesn't look enough like the other, because they are both stunningly beautiful in their own unique ways.
I wish more people understood that one size simply does not fit all. There is a very wide range of natural variation in how humans are built, and stupid, height-based calculations like the BMI are useless, unscientific trash that tell us nothing about what our own individual body's needs are. Sheepdogs, after all, may be roughly the same height as a Saluki, but they're built completely differently, and it would be absurd to try to get them to look like that.
Humans, like dogs, are an extremely physically diverse species, and setting up any one body type--whether that's bone structure, muscle development/definition, eye shape or skin color--as some sort of goal that we're all supposed to try to reach is not just unfair and unrealistic, but actually causing people to do violence to themselves and each other when someone deviates too far from that standard.
Contrary to what industry wants us to believe (so we'll buy their products), neither beauty nor health actually has any one particular look or shape. What's definitely NOT beautiful or healthy, however, is an expensive, body-attacking pursuit of looking like someone else, which in the process helps to fuel a hateful cultural standard that makes other people feel compelled to do the same thing.
These pressures being what they are--pervasive, relentless and often with consequences attached--it can be very, very hard to resist them. I know some people can't, because the cost is too great. But for those of us who do have a choice, we really ought to be choosing to let go of that pursuit, because it helps lessen those pressures for everyone else, so they themselves can have more choices.
Of course some people are going to naturally fit those cultural standards, and yes, they get unfair levels of social perks for it. But skinny little bitches aren't the enemy. Many of them, in fact, are lovely people for whom I have great affection and attraction. The real enemy? The asshats sitting behind a desk counting the scads of money we give them because we've been told that unless we try to look like said skinny little bitches, we're worthless.
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no subject
I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to look how you want to look. Partially because I feel like, if I know how I want to look and I take steps to make it happen (blue hair is not a small investment in terms of time and effort), I shouldn't pass judgement on what other people do or don't do.
(I feel like this conversation is happening like advertisements in subway tunnels--it flashes past but we're not directly engaging. I'm not sure how I feel about that.)
no subject
There's a difference, IMHO, between creating a personal look because it makes you happy and hurting yourself because you're trying to fit an unreasonable ideal.
It's the latter--and the pressure for it, which comes from all angles--that's the problem.
I think a lot of people (women, especially) underestimate both how much they're influenced by cultural messages and how much the choices they make help perpetuate those messages. Absent peer reinforcement, those messages wouldn't get very far.
As with any other industry, the "looks" industry wouldn't exist in the behemoth form it does if it didn't have customers. It gets those customers in part by brainwashing people, creating a need for their products and services, but also by the perpetuation of that brainwashing among the larger culture. It's viral marketing, really: They set the standard that brings them customers, and those customers then turn around and reinforce that standard to bring in new ones. Set that standard high enough, and you'll have an endless stream of people beating each other up if they're not using enough of your products to meet it.
Those of us who care about people who are being seriously harmed by these industries have a responsibility, I feel, to not perpetuate the problem if we have the choice.
This, btw, is why I consider myself progressive and not libertarian. I think we should all be mindful of the choices we make, and consider whether we might inadvertently be perpetuating harm. Individual freedom is all well and good, but not if you're the only one who has it.
(And yes, it occurred to me that this was on a similar topic to what you posted recently. It was inspired by something else, however.)
no subject
I have a pretty good idea of in what ways and how much I'm influenced by my culture. I also have a pretty good idea of why I do the things I do and don't do the things I don't do.
no subject
It's hard, though. Life's complicated enough that sometimes it's easier for people to just surf along, not thinking very much about what they want and why they want it.
Goodness knows I spent most of the first half of my life in a state like that. (Having a feminist epiphany at 21 when you grew up in very sexist trailer trash culture is quite the mindfuck.)