WTFery x infinity

[textualdeviance]

K's about to become a grandmother. She turns 40 in July.

Her 22-year-old kid--my goddaughter--is due in Feb.

The idea of my pseudosister having a grandkid before I've even had a kid? Is messing with my head.

Granted that K started early--her first pregnancy was at 15--but still.



They say age is just a number/you're only as old as you feel/blah blah.

Going by "lifestage" stuff, I'm probably more around M's age--35--than mine. And in a way, it does make more sense to think of it like that.

But then I have to acknowledge my physical reality. Which is to say: I'll be gone in 20-25 years unless there's some sort of major medical advance in that time that helps fix what's wrong with me.

K's about to be a grandmother, and chances are very good I won't even live long enough to see my kid graduate from college. I'll never be a grandparent myself.

I may feel like I'm four or five years younger psychologically, but physically, I'm actually more about four or five years older.

And maybe that means it's too late. Maybe that ship has sailed.

And what bothers me the most is knowing that the folks in charge of deciding whether I get to adopt may well see it that way, too.

Comments

[ceilidh-ann.livejournal.com]

My friend P - the only friend from high school I still keep in contact with - just had a little boy a month ago at the ripe old age of 20. I got to see him last week and I kept thinknig "Holy shit, he's real! She's a mum! She's 3 months older than me!" My mum and dad had me at 23 and 20 but it's still so weird to me.

[textualdeviance.livejournal.com]

K had a really rough life (we both did, but hers was worse) and she ended up getting married at 16, and had her first at 17. I was glad when her oldest actually went to college for a while, and was kind of hoping maybe she'd escaped her mom's fate. But then she got married last September, and now this.

It's just really weird, and kind of frustrating.