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textualdeviancePerhaps the only more group of douchebags more annoying than Mac evangelists are evangelists for modern and minimalist design.
Every last one of them is an insufferable prig who doesn't want to admit to the existence of their naked emperor, which is the fact that modern design is utterly useless for the messy and chaotic realities of day-to-day living, and is thus pointless in domestic architecture and housewares.
The only thing I can think is that the people who can have a life in these sterile, cold surroundings have no children and no pets and subsist on a diet of Pelligrino and smugness.
Fortunately, I live in the Northwest, where we generally point and laugh at people who insist on trying to educate us unsophisticated hippies about the supposed superiority of spending $3.5 million for a structure that looks more or less like the cardboard box that a real house is supposed to come in. Nothing wrong with having a nice, big house if you have the cash and want it, but if you're trying to impress people around here with your glass-and-steel "distillation of form," you're not going to get very far.
Seriously--I think the whole modernist movement is really just one colossal practical joke, set up by its progenitors to see how far they can pull the wool over the eyes of the desperately pretentious and wealthy clueless. It's like the design version of Scientology or something.
Also, someone's trying to convince me that Craftsman is going to go out of style here. AHAHAHAHAHAHAH. Yes, darling, that would be why you just NEVER see Spanish Colonial in the Southwest or Cape Cod in New England, or neo-Victorian in Northern California anymore... *koff*
Every last one of them is an insufferable prig who doesn't want to admit to the existence of their naked emperor, which is the fact that modern design is utterly useless for the messy and chaotic realities of day-to-day living, and is thus pointless in domestic architecture and housewares.
The only thing I can think is that the people who can have a life in these sterile, cold surroundings have no children and no pets and subsist on a diet of Pelligrino and smugness.
Fortunately, I live in the Northwest, where we generally point and laugh at people who insist on trying to educate us unsophisticated hippies about the supposed superiority of spending $3.5 million for a structure that looks more or less like the cardboard box that a real house is supposed to come in. Nothing wrong with having a nice, big house if you have the cash and want it, but if you're trying to impress people around here with your glass-and-steel "distillation of form," you're not going to get very far.
Seriously--I think the whole modernist movement is really just one colossal practical joke, set up by its progenitors to see how far they can pull the wool over the eyes of the desperately pretentious and wealthy clueless. It's like the design version of Scientology or something.
Also, someone's trying to convince me that Craftsman is going to go out of style here. AHAHAHAHAHAHAH. Yes, darling, that would be why you just NEVER see Spanish Colonial in the Southwest or Cape Cod in New England, or neo-Victorian in Northern California anymore... *koff*
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The problem I have with the minimalist aesthetic is that it eliminates me as a person. Not just my personal taste, but me as a human being. I don't fit into a room that's designed for stick figures. My body is curves and valleys and mountains and thunder. My voice is big, my humor unwieldy. It shatters the perfect stillness of a room decorated with a single, flawless stalk of bamboo.
I've been to the occasional party in a minimalist home, and I feel humiliated the moment I walk in the door, because all the tall, lean people with their perfectly pressed pants look like they're going to have an OCD fit because the short, fat chick with bad skin and ragged nails just ruined the whole feel of the place.
Modern design is like a big "fuck you" to all of us imperfect humans who have the temerity to eat and fart and have stretch marks. It is, in itself, an offense to the basics of human nature, and that's why I abhor it, and why I doubly abhor people who evangelize it.