Body and soul

Back from week two of rehearsal. And it again went very well. Really enjoying singing again, and I like most of the stuff we're doing, too.

Have decided: the one and only time I feel like a woman (and like it) is when I'm singing. Yes, I can sing lower parts, and were I to transition, I'm sure I'd adapt to baritone or something, but there's just something about singing soprano that feels right in my very bones. It feels like this is what my body was intended for. Reproduction? Secondary sex characteristics? W'ev. My larynx is the heart and soul of whatever femininity my body has.

I'm not very in touch with my body both for gender reasons and because it's so broken in so many ways. I sometimes envy athletes and dancers the relationship they have with their physical selves. But I do have this one thing, and it's huge for me. Far more huge than I think I realized until I got back into it after having abandoned it for so long.

I still consider myself a writer, more than anything else, but that's largely a mental thing, and an expression of creativity from a genesis level. My emotional and spiritual side--and physical, it would seem--are still rooted in the strange and wonderful noises that I can make come out of my mouth.

Oh, voice. I'm so sorry I forgot about you.