Body and soul

[textualdeviance]

Back from week two of rehearsal. And it again went very well. Really enjoying singing again, and I like most of the stuff we're doing, too.

Have decided: the one and only time I feel like a woman (and like it) is when I'm singing. Yes, I can sing lower parts, and were I to transition, I'm sure I'd adapt to baritone or something, but there's just something about singing soprano that feels right in my very bones. It feels like this is what my body was intended for. Reproduction? Secondary sex characteristics? W'ev. My larynx is the heart and soul of whatever femininity my body has.

I'm not very in touch with my body both for gender reasons and because it's so broken in so many ways. I sometimes envy athletes and dancers the relationship they have with their physical selves. But I do have this one thing, and it's huge for me. Far more huge than I think I realized until I got back into it after having abandoned it for so long.

I still consider myself a writer, more than anything else, but that's largely a mental thing, and an expression of creativity from a genesis level. My emotional and spiritual side--and physical, it would seem--are still rooted in the strange and wonderful noises that I can make come out of my mouth.

Oh, voice. I'm so sorry I forgot about you.

Comments

[noipeh.livejournal.com]

So what are you singing? I'm doing a Messiah, rehearsals just starting, and I'm realizing how much not singing consistently is not helping matters at all.

[textualdeviance.livejournal.com]

I just joined the Seattle Women's Chorus, and we're doing a mixed program on a "love" theme for Valentine's Day. There are a few pop and jazz pieces in there, and a couple of more complex ones.

My favorite so far is this amazing, 7-minute Indian thing that goes into some crazy, 12-part harmony sections and involves body percussion and a bunch of other stuff. It's way challenging, but it'll be so worth it when we have it down.

My goal is to do a term or two with this group to get myself back in the groove (and maybe find a coach, too) and then go try to get into the Symphony Chorale, where I can do more-hardcore stuff. Eventually, I'd like to do the opera chorus, but I don't know whether that will ever happen; it's really competitive.