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So, Evan Rachel Wood just told Us Magazine she's bi. Not much of a surprise, really. What's interesting, though, is that she mentions that she's open to actually dating women. I've seen so many of her generation who declare themselves bi, but would never consider actually having a relationship with another chick.
Yes, technically they're bi, and I'm all for more folks being honest about their attractions, rather than hiding behind a gay or straight identity. But it's no wonder so many people don't take us seriously when the public face of bi women is so often some wild child who's just up for equal-opportunity screwing around and won't go beyond that. A bit of waist-up drunken fooling around while your boyfriend watches isn't exactly the same thing as someone who's open to actually having full-on relationships without regard for gender.
( Bi-curious? No. I'm bi-serious, thanks. )
Realistically, the dating-other-people thing is history, of course. Since we're going to be obtaining a kid, soon, any thoughts of trying to introduce a new parent at some point are definitely off the menu. The sprog is going to have a challenging enough time with slightly oddball parents, and being adopted. No sense in making things even weirder. And, practically speaking, doing anything else is probably out of the question, too. We barely have the bandwidth to socialize with folks in non-sordid ways. ;)
But even so, I still know where my orientation lies, and I still get annoyed when people assume I'm just another flighty bi chick because that's what they see most of the time. Even though my practical circumstances mean I'm functionally monogamous with the guy I'm married to doesn't mean I'm not actually bi. Were circumstances to change, there's a very good chance the next person I dated would have female bits. If, that is, I could find someone with said bits who didn't assume that stereotypes and history meant I'm something I'm not. The funny thing is that part of the reason I've dated far fewer women than men is this precise issue: Most of the women I've been interested in haven't been interested back because of this assumption. They assume I just want a fling and stay away if they're interested in something else, or get freaked out when they find out I'm not like that. Crazy.
Anyway, yay for Evan, and I hope she has a good experience with being out. It's a minefield.
Yes, technically they're bi, and I'm all for more folks being honest about their attractions, rather than hiding behind a gay or straight identity. But it's no wonder so many people don't take us seriously when the public face of bi women is so often some wild child who's just up for equal-opportunity screwing around and won't go beyond that. A bit of waist-up drunken fooling around while your boyfriend watches isn't exactly the same thing as someone who's open to actually having full-on relationships without regard for gender.
( Bi-curious? No. I'm bi-serious, thanks. )
Realistically, the dating-other-people thing is history, of course. Since we're going to be obtaining a kid, soon, any thoughts of trying to introduce a new parent at some point are definitely off the menu. The sprog is going to have a challenging enough time with slightly oddball parents, and being adopted. No sense in making things even weirder. And, practically speaking, doing anything else is probably out of the question, too. We barely have the bandwidth to socialize with folks in non-sordid ways. ;)
But even so, I still know where my orientation lies, and I still get annoyed when people assume I'm just another flighty bi chick because that's what they see most of the time. Even though my practical circumstances mean I'm functionally monogamous with the guy I'm married to doesn't mean I'm not actually bi. Were circumstances to change, there's a very good chance the next person I dated would have female bits. If, that is, I could find someone with said bits who didn't assume that stereotypes and history meant I'm something I'm not. The funny thing is that part of the reason I've dated far fewer women than men is this precise issue: Most of the women I've been interested in haven't been interested back because of this assumption. They assume I just want a fling and stay away if they're interested in something else, or get freaked out when they find out I'm not like that. Crazy.
Anyway, yay for Evan, and I hope she has a good experience with being out. It's a minefield.
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