Texty

I realize that in many ways, I have a far better life than billions of other people on the planet, and I am grateful for what I have. Really.

But right at this very moment, my life just isn't working the way I want it to, and I'm having a really hard time not feeling crushed by that.

( Inventory: Good and bad stuff. Mostly a lot of bad. )

So, it's not all bad. But... Yeah.

I think the bad stuff would be a lot easier to take if I had something good coming up that I could look forward to, but there really isn't anything. No kid, no vacations, no big goals to work toward... It's all just day-to-day grind for the forseeable future, and that's really depressing. This is the first time in more than a decade* that I haven't had something big going on, and I'm really feeling quite lost.

It's kinda pathetic, mebbe, that the only upcoming things that might make me relatively happy (at least for the short term) are pop culture things.** But, really. Without a lot of money/time/energy for anything else, parking my ass in front of some screen or other is what's available, so... It's also the only way to keep me distracted until we can finally get going on the other moving-forward stuff.

So, yay for fan squee, I guess.


*Previous years included a couple of big moves, plenty of travel, lots of performances, all the events/projects from my LOTR fandom days, school, getting a job, spawning attempts, etc. Now? Nada. The adoption was supposed to be this year's project. And... yeah.

**Two of my fave shows are back, and two more are debuting soon; there's a movie premiering in Vancouver at the end of the month that I'm going to trek up to see, and there's also a big fan event in London that will probably have a ton of new Primeval news.