Clear as...mud. :). It took me a fair while to get used to the idea of transitioning myself, and then quite a few months to work it all out. What I wanted, what it meant to me, and to resolve all those lingering doubts about whether or not I was doing it for the right reasons.
Which is weird, because I didn't have the same problem identifying with dykes at first. I never, ever identified with straight girls, with those ordinary (in a nice way), feminine girly girls. They were totally alien creatures to me, and still are. When I came out as a dyke and met many other dykes, I felt I really fitted in. It was a few years before my brain decided to tell me that really, I wanted more than that and it still wasn't my scene. Then it just dropped it on my head with little warning!
Now that I've actually done it, I don't think about these things anymore. But I imagine that for someone who's thought about it a lot in the past, it's going to be an ongoing issue, something that your brain regularly brings up for "review". Just making sure you're really at where you want to be, which is good in a way. :)
I always enjoy your thoughts and opinions on many things, and I think we think alike on many issues. I'm looking forward to future entries in this journal :).
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momijizukamori
absolutely :)
Date: 2002-09-25 04:08 am (UTC)Which is weird, because I didn't have the same problem identifying with dykes at first. I never, ever identified with straight girls, with those ordinary (in a nice way), feminine girly girls. They were totally alien creatures to me, and still are. When I came out as a dyke and met many other dykes, I felt I really fitted in. It was a few years before my brain decided to tell me that really, I wanted more than that and it still wasn't my scene. Then it just dropped it on my head with little warning!
Now that I've actually done it, I don't think about these things anymore. But I imagine that for someone who's thought about it a lot in the past, it's going to be an ongoing issue, something that your brain regularly brings up for "review". Just making sure you're really at where you want to be, which is good in a way. :)
I always enjoy your thoughts and opinions on many things, and I think we think alike on many issues. I'm looking forward to future entries in this journal :).
Love ya,
K.