Logic: It's what's for dinner. And breakfast. And lunch. And elevensies...

[textualdeviance]

I really don't get how people can argue, with a straight face, that anything a given woman does is inherently feminist merely because she's female.

Women are not magical beings imbued with perfect instincts to know when their actions are being influenced by negative things like...oh...pervasive cultural sexism. We're just as subject to that brainwashing as anyone else.*

Waking up and recognizing how not just the behavior of others, but our OWN behavior is shaped by our environment is a key part of feminist enlightenment. Running away and perpetuating the denial that noooo, yer smrt, you couldn't possibly be influenced by those nasty old media messages or cultural upbringing or blah blah blah? Is not feminist enlightenment.

That denial is understandable, of course. The first part of feminist enlightenment is realizing how oppressed women really are. The second part is realizing that you've participated in that oppression. That fucking hurts, lemme tellya. It's like waking up and realizing your whole life up until now is one big scam. You end up questioning everything you've ever done and experienced, wondering how even subtle, seemingly innocuous things may have led you to act in a way that keeps the hamster wheel spinning.

Unfortunately, it's necessary for all of us to go through that process, because coming out the other end of it is the only way any of us gets to actual empowerment, and the ability to really work for change.

Periodically shutting off the sexism radar is understandable and healthy. We'd all be suffering with some fairly serious depression if we didn't do that regularly. But we can't go through life living entirely in that fog if we want to make things better for ourselves and others, and letting go of the idea that any of us has 100% free will and makes untainted choices is absolutely necessary for that work.

Yes, it's scary as fuck to realize how out of control of your own life you really are, but if you're ever going to get back IN control of it, you have to have that realization.

*FWIW, yes, this also means that men often aren't 100% responsible for perpetuating sexist behavior on their end, too. It's the guys who know better and still act like assholes who deserve the kick.

Comments

[pixxelpuss.livejournal.com]

Context? Because I read this post going "Yeah, yeah, hells yeah, yeah..." and then thinking "Wait, what the fuck?" I love the ideas, but pragmatically, I wonder how it works in application.

I think it's theoretically a great idea to try to root out our own cultural brainwashing and correct our behavior as much as possible. I just don't think this "actual empowerment" exists. The shit is so pervasive that I don't think anyone actually ever gets free of it, and I don't think it's reasonable to expect anyone to. To TRY to, yes.

But to me, that means a lot of thinking, and a lot of deep questioning of one's own motivations, and doing so Constantly. But wanting or needing something for a reason you know is bad doesn't stop you from wanting or needing it. It just makes you feel bad for wanting or needing it. And nobody ever wants something for Just One reason. It's messy and unavoidable that some will be bad reasons and some will be good ones and that the balance struck between resisting cultural conditioning and doing what one feels one must do is going to be deeply personal and unfathomable to anyone else.

So while I'm never going to claim that anything is a feminist act solely on the basis that it is being done by a female, I'm also not going to condemn every act that a woman does that happens to coincide with cultural conditioning. Especially since women are caught in so damn many double-binds. So no, I'm not going to condemn women for taking pole dancing classes or taking up quilting or being sexually submissive. Because sexist cultural conditioning isn't a simple proposition only pulling us in one direction that we can easily pull back against. It's us swimming in the soup. Sometimes we need to push back in one direction, and sometimes we need to push back in another.

[textualdeviance.livejournal.com]

FWIW, I reserve any harsh judgment on this stuff only for people who should know better, and who are just resisting being more conscientious about their actions because they're too lazy or cowardly to do otherwise.

I realize that most women who succumb to sexist conditioning do so because they either don't know any better or don't feel they have other choices. I'm not immune to that pressure myself, and I don't expect anyone else to be, either--especially if they don't have many of the privileges and advantages I do that give me what freedom I do have to be different.

But I do feel that those of us who have those privileges and who know better should be mindful of what we do in the service of helping to ensure a broader range of choices for everyone. It's just part of the ongoing fight, IMHO.

As for context: My post a few days ago about consent got reposted at Polimicks, and garnered a troll who was going off about how expecting enthusiastic consent was a violation of choices. Mostly, he was a douchenozzle who seemed to think that being asked to be respectful of others was an unreasonable harshing of his buzz.

[textualdeviance.livejournal.com]

Also, I take it your eye issue is improving? Hope so!