Oct. 10th, 2002 02:26 am
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textualdevianceBeing new this year to the whole fandom and slash thing, I've been going through the school of learning the hard way. As there is no Fandom Orientation Guide (despite what some would seem to prefer) I've had to learn all this as I go. I think I may have finally gotten it all down. Hopefully I haven't missed anything!
So, if I have this right...
It's okay to write slash so long as you adhere directly to canon and don't go outside any notions of OTP. Legolas/Aragorn is perfectly okay, though, because Legolas/Gimli is just icky.
It's okay to write slash so long as you don't write a popular series that a whole lotta people like enough to create a community for.
It's okay to write slash so long as you don't write really, really raunchy NC-17.
It's okay to write slash, as long as you don't write RPS
Oh, well, yeah, it's okay to write RPS. But we won't admit we read it, and we'll throw indignant little fits about it.
It's okay to write RPS so long as you write things in such a completely unrealistic fashion that there's no way in hell real men would ever fuck that way.
It's okay to write RPS so long as it's primarily focused on pairings that have virtually no canonical basis for happening, because the people in question barely know each other and/or live on opposite ends of the world. If it might actually be realistic, you can't write it.
It's okay to write RPS so long as you don't think that any of the guys might ever have done something so heinous IRL. There will be no writing of slash involving men who might actually identify as gay or bisexual.
It's okay to write slash or RPS so long as you only write romantic love stories between two people, or a love triangle with lots of jealousy and angst. There will be no polyamory in slash, thankyouverymuch.
It's okay to write RPS that involves characters with a huge age difference, but not characters who may be married.
If you do write RPS with a character who is married, he has to be cheating on his wife or leave her for his boyfriend, becuase no woman in her right mind would let her husband sleep with a man.
It's okay to write RPS, but only if you don't gossip.
It's okay to gossip, but only if you don't write RPS.
It's okay to gossip as long as it's only about females the guys may be dating.
It's okay to be nasty to people if they write "bad" fic.
It's okay to be nasty to people if they don't follow The Rules. And we make up these rules as we go along, so tough shit if you don't know about them.
It's okay to be nasty to people if you suspect they might have any interest whatsoever in your fandom girlfriend, even if that's just your own insecurity and paranoia talking.
It's okay to be nasty to people if they dare to use some of your Personally Invented Jargon or a picture you were going to use for a LJ Icon.
Heck, it's just okay to be nasty to people because We Rule the Universe and Bitchiness is a virtue. (Despite the fact that there are only 12 of us and no-one cares about what we say anyway. Hey! Don't you dare ignore us! We're still here and wehateyooooouu. Come back so we can hate you morrrrreee.)
It's okay to lust after an actor so long as you don't talk about anything other than their looks and acting
It's okay to lust after an actor so long as he's conventionally attractive
It's okay to lust after an actor so long as your only interest in him is in his surface characteristics, and not anything about his personality and who he really is off-screen.
It's okay to lust after an actor as long as he isn't gay or married.
It's okay to lust after an actor who is 25 years older than you, but not okay to lust after one who is 15 years younger than you. If you are over 40, you are restricted to lusting after other over-40 actors only, assuming you haven't yet done the right thing and given up on sex because you're too old to be having it, you sick troll.
It's okay to write slash and RPS, gossip, and lust after actors so long as you're appropriately ashamed of doing these things and don't talk about them in public.
Have I learned my lessons well? Am I no longer a fandom virgin? Gosh, these were hard rules to keep straight. I hope I've remembered them all.
So, if I have this right...
It's okay to write slash so long as you adhere directly to canon and don't go outside any notions of OTP. Legolas/Aragorn is perfectly okay, though, because Legolas/Gimli is just icky.
It's okay to write slash so long as you don't write a popular series that a whole lotta people like enough to create a community for.
It's okay to write slash so long as you don't write really, really raunchy NC-17.
It's okay to write slash, as long as you don't write RPS
Oh, well, yeah, it's okay to write RPS. But we won't admit we read it, and we'll throw indignant little fits about it.
It's okay to write RPS so long as you write things in such a completely unrealistic fashion that there's no way in hell real men would ever fuck that way.
It's okay to write RPS so long as it's primarily focused on pairings that have virtually no canonical basis for happening, because the people in question barely know each other and/or live on opposite ends of the world. If it might actually be realistic, you can't write it.
It's okay to write RPS so long as you don't think that any of the guys might ever have done something so heinous IRL. There will be no writing of slash involving men who might actually identify as gay or bisexual.
It's okay to write slash or RPS so long as you only write romantic love stories between two people, or a love triangle with lots of jealousy and angst. There will be no polyamory in slash, thankyouverymuch.
It's okay to write RPS that involves characters with a huge age difference, but not characters who may be married.
If you do write RPS with a character who is married, he has to be cheating on his wife or leave her for his boyfriend, becuase no woman in her right mind would let her husband sleep with a man.
It's okay to write RPS, but only if you don't gossip.
It's okay to gossip, but only if you don't write RPS.
It's okay to gossip as long as it's only about females the guys may be dating.
It's okay to be nasty to people if they write "bad" fic.
It's okay to be nasty to people if they don't follow The Rules. And we make up these rules as we go along, so tough shit if you don't know about them.
It's okay to be nasty to people if you suspect they might have any interest whatsoever in your fandom girlfriend, even if that's just your own insecurity and paranoia talking.
It's okay to be nasty to people if they dare to use some of your Personally Invented Jargon or a picture you were going to use for a LJ Icon.
Heck, it's just okay to be nasty to people because We Rule the Universe and Bitchiness is a virtue. (Despite the fact that there are only 12 of us and no-one cares about what we say anyway. Hey! Don't you dare ignore us! We're still here and wehateyooooouu. Come back so we can hate you morrrrreee.)
It's okay to lust after an actor so long as you don't talk about anything other than their looks and acting
It's okay to lust after an actor so long as he's conventionally attractive
It's okay to lust after an actor so long as your only interest in him is in his surface characteristics, and not anything about his personality and who he really is off-screen.
It's okay to lust after an actor as long as he isn't gay or married.
It's okay to lust after an actor who is 25 years older than you, but not okay to lust after one who is 15 years younger than you. If you are over 40, you are restricted to lusting after other over-40 actors only, assuming you haven't yet done the right thing and given up on sex because you're too old to be having it, you sick troll.
It's okay to write slash and RPS, gossip, and lust after actors so long as you're appropriately ashamed of doing these things and don't talk about them in public.
Have I learned my lessons well? Am I no longer a fandom virgin? Gosh, these were hard rules to keep straight. I hope I've remembered them all.
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By the way