Nice guy syndrome and the geek's dilemma: The Connor Temple parable

foxipher posted this, and I had to laugh a little.

Are geek boys still pining away about not being able to get laid?

With the caveat that I probably need to take my own advice at times, here's why the stereotype of the sexless nerd should be considered a mythical beast:

Nerds like sex. Nerds have sex. Nerds have the best sex with each other.

Nerds who pine away in endless lust for non-nerds and ignore the lovely fellow nerds standing right behind them in the autograph lines at the con? Aren't going to get laid. If you're ogling the professional model booth babes instead of the non-implanted-and-Botoxed chick in the cute glasses with a bag full of action figures, you're looking in the wrong damned place.

To wit: ( Connor Temple should be getting plenty of tail )

Now of course, Connor is a somewhat rare case, being as how he's played by a guy who is actually quite foxy and hawt IRL. Andrew is a bit on the short, scrawny and slightly spotty side, but really, most average, everyday nerds aren't going to have his Puppy Eyes and Dimples of Doom working in their favor. And I get that. But there are still a bunch of nerd boys who don't even have a tenth of his conventional hotness factor who are still merrily shagging away, and it's only because of one thing: They've chosen others like themselves, instead of feeling rejected just because a swimsuit model isn't interested in them.

Undoubtedly, there's some good advice in that article linked above. Even if you're focusing on the right pool of potential partners, standard advice for everyone trying to get some still applies: Don't be rude, pay attention to personal hygiene and try not to monopolize conversations by going on about your particular obsession of the moment.

You also need to make it clear to the object of your attentions that s/he is more than an object. There are definitely some folks out there who are into no-strings sportfucking, but generally speaking, most people want to know that they're wanted on a personal level as well as a physical one, and if you don't feel that way about a given person, then move on until you find one you do feel that way about. It's less painful for all involved.

Being a nerd shouldn't be a barrier in and of itself to having a healthy and active sex life, and being a nice guy isn't the problem. Limiting yourself to those people that mainstream culture have brainwashed you into believing are the only source of satisfying sex? That's the problem.