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Apparently some people need to educate themselves a bit. To that end:
Google directory listings about genderqueer
A good book
It always amuses me, even though it's frustrating, to see people who aren't remotely in a position to do so feeling so free to be judgemental about how other people are put together and live their lives.
Homophobia has a large component of gender policing.at its root While of course, the religious roots of homophobia will decry gay sex and same-sex couples regardless of the gender presentation of the people involved, it's actually gender transgression that gets some of the most violent homophobic reactions. Someone who violates gender codes, whether they're attracted to someone who has the same naughty bits as they do or not, will get just as much homophobic bile as a pair of perfectly-femme lesbians holding hands. In fact, they often get more, especially in the case of said femme lesbians, because "girl on girl action" is downright mainstream these days. (This is, of course, leaving aside the issue of femme lesbians' sexuality being co-opted by straight men, which is a whole nother essay.)
Gender presentation, physical sex and orientation so often appear in neatly pre-packaged sets that people often get them confounded, but they're very separate things. Physical sex is your body. It's what bits you have. It's everything from gonads to secondary sex characteristics. Gender is the culturally-constructed "clothing" that's worn on the body. It's things like how you dress, the way you speak and move, gender-typed occupations, interests, traits, activities, etc. Orientation itself has three components: sex role, physical sex and gender presentation. There are plenty of people out there who are more attracted to a certain kind of gender presentation than they are to what kind of plumbing someone has (I'm one of those people, actually.)
Homophobia affects anyone who doesn't look and behave exactly the way they're supposed to according to society's rules for sex and gender. A man who looks and acts like Carson Kressley is still going to get shit regardless of whether he sleeps with women. Women who don't shave or wear makeup still put up with catty bullshit and worse regardless of whether they sleep with other women or not. In fact, gender policing is even alive and well within the gay community, where masculine men are practically deified, and no-one wants to identify as a bottom because of the socio-psychological issues around sexual passivity equaling femininity, etc.
Eliminating homophobia also means eliminating gender policing. It means getting rid of attacking other people whose gender presentation doesn't go with what society says it should be like. It means getting rid of idealizing "proper" gender presentation. It means getting rid of girls forcing other girls to obsess over appearance and starve themselves to death to reach ideals of slim femininity. It means getting rid of boys beating the shit out of other boys for being "sissies" or for expressing emotion, artistic interest or not objectifying women. We're all put together a little differently, and each of us has our own unique set of physical and psychological characteristics that make up who we are. We're not all Aryan heterosexual Barbie and Ken, nor should anyone be attempting to make us all like that. Homophobia will go away when we stop trying to put people into little boxes and attacking them when they color outside the lines.
Google directory listings about genderqueer
A good book
It always amuses me, even though it's frustrating, to see people who aren't remotely in a position to do so feeling so free to be judgemental about how other people are put together and live their lives.
Homophobia has a large component of gender policing.at its root While of course, the religious roots of homophobia will decry gay sex and same-sex couples regardless of the gender presentation of the people involved, it's actually gender transgression that gets some of the most violent homophobic reactions. Someone who violates gender codes, whether they're attracted to someone who has the same naughty bits as they do or not, will get just as much homophobic bile as a pair of perfectly-femme lesbians holding hands. In fact, they often get more, especially in the case of said femme lesbians, because "girl on girl action" is downright mainstream these days. (This is, of course, leaving aside the issue of femme lesbians' sexuality being co-opted by straight men, which is a whole nother essay.)
Gender presentation, physical sex and orientation so often appear in neatly pre-packaged sets that people often get them confounded, but they're very separate things. Physical sex is your body. It's what bits you have. It's everything from gonads to secondary sex characteristics. Gender is the culturally-constructed "clothing" that's worn on the body. It's things like how you dress, the way you speak and move, gender-typed occupations, interests, traits, activities, etc. Orientation itself has three components: sex role, physical sex and gender presentation. There are plenty of people out there who are more attracted to a certain kind of gender presentation than they are to what kind of plumbing someone has (I'm one of those people, actually.)
Homophobia affects anyone who doesn't look and behave exactly the way they're supposed to according to society's rules for sex and gender. A man who looks and acts like Carson Kressley is still going to get shit regardless of whether he sleeps with women. Women who don't shave or wear makeup still put up with catty bullshit and worse regardless of whether they sleep with other women or not. In fact, gender policing is even alive and well within the gay community, where masculine men are practically deified, and no-one wants to identify as a bottom because of the socio-psychological issues around sexual passivity equaling femininity, etc.
Eliminating homophobia also means eliminating gender policing. It means getting rid of attacking other people whose gender presentation doesn't go with what society says it should be like. It means getting rid of idealizing "proper" gender presentation. It means getting rid of girls forcing other girls to obsess over appearance and starve themselves to death to reach ideals of slim femininity. It means getting rid of boys beating the shit out of other boys for being "sissies" or for expressing emotion, artistic interest or not objectifying women. We're all put together a little differently, and each of us has our own unique set of physical and psychological characteristics that make up who we are. We're not all Aryan heterosexual Barbie and Ken, nor should anyone be attempting to make us all like that. Homophobia will go away when we stop trying to put people into little boxes and attacking them when they color outside the lines.
