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Dec. 4th, 2003 01:03 pm
(no subject)
Catching up just before I leave and a totally random thought occurred to me that I need to write down:
Everyone has prejudices. We can't help it. Especially if you were raised in the US and have a decent amount of exposure to the media, because US public culture has such a massive "us v. them" mentality that you can't help but get some sense that your group is always better than everyone else's, and that life isn't complete without an enemy to fight against. And then there are all the isms.
In some ways, it's a shame that we've been so successful at eradicating blatant racism, sexism and homophobia (to name a few isms) because those things still most definitely exist, but they exist on a much more subtle and insidious level now than they used to, and they've managed to weave themselves into the fabric of the public consciousness like a stubborn dog hair weaving itself into your couch. People figure that so long as they're not using epithets or beating someone up or denying them a job or housing that they're not prejudiced. And, even worse, it's become a mark of good character to not be prejudiced, so when you confront someone on it, they take it as an insult rather than stepping back and thinking about what their real biases and judgements are.
Think really hard about how you feel about people who are different than you, and different than the mainstream. Think very hard about your gut reactions to things like a woman who doesn't conform to cultural rules about female attractiveness, or a man who simply isn't "manly enough." How do you feel about someone with a disability? Do you ignore them, treat them differently? People who are not straight, white, Christian, wealthy, attractive men know very well the subtle isms directed at them, but sometimes we also don't recognize the isms we have for other categories, too. Gay men can be incredibly misogynistic. People of color can be fatphobic or homo/transphobic. Fat people who get taunted all their lives can be racist. Women are notorious for turning on each other. Somehow, it's almost as if we figure that if we have any minority status at all, that gives us carte blanche to treat other minorities like shit. No doubt we also take out our anger at how we're treated by others by vening animosity at some other marginalized group we feel is beneath us. Poor people, maybe, or immigrants. Especially people who compete with us for the resources our groups have to already struggle to get.
The thing is, this planet is something like a big lifeboat drifting through space. We're never going to survive as a species if we keep destroying others who are different from us in the slim hope that our group may get more of the pie if we do. We have to recognize that under it all, we all share the same space, and we're all going to have to recongize that everyone else here has just as much right to be here, and to their fair share of resources and respect as we do. More than ever, we need to be following the Rede, and other similar sentiments, and realize that as long as a person is not harming another, they have every right to their place in this world, and the support and acceptance of other people.
If someone confronts you on an ism, don't balk. Don't assume that they're full of shit because you're queer, and therefore you couldn't possibly be homophobic, or you're a woman and therefore you couldn't possibly be sexist. The simple fact is that if you believe, even on a very subtle level, that any one group is better, more "normal" or in any way more deserving of respect, acceptance, love and resources than any other group, you have isms you need to deal with. Instead of getting righteously indignant if someone tells you that a particular belief you hold is racist or homophobic, think about their words and take them to heart, and think about what you can do to change your atitude. The respect you give just may come back to you someday.
Everyone has prejudices. We can't help it. Especially if you were raised in the US and have a decent amount of exposure to the media, because US public culture has such a massive "us v. them" mentality that you can't help but get some sense that your group is always better than everyone else's, and that life isn't complete without an enemy to fight against. And then there are all the isms.
In some ways, it's a shame that we've been so successful at eradicating blatant racism, sexism and homophobia (to name a few isms) because those things still most definitely exist, but they exist on a much more subtle and insidious level now than they used to, and they've managed to weave themselves into the fabric of the public consciousness like a stubborn dog hair weaving itself into your couch. People figure that so long as they're not using epithets or beating someone up or denying them a job or housing that they're not prejudiced. And, even worse, it's become a mark of good character to not be prejudiced, so when you confront someone on it, they take it as an insult rather than stepping back and thinking about what their real biases and judgements are.
Think really hard about how you feel about people who are different than you, and different than the mainstream. Think very hard about your gut reactions to things like a woman who doesn't conform to cultural rules about female attractiveness, or a man who simply isn't "manly enough." How do you feel about someone with a disability? Do you ignore them, treat them differently? People who are not straight, white, Christian, wealthy, attractive men know very well the subtle isms directed at them, but sometimes we also don't recognize the isms we have for other categories, too. Gay men can be incredibly misogynistic. People of color can be fatphobic or homo/transphobic. Fat people who get taunted all their lives can be racist. Women are notorious for turning on each other. Somehow, it's almost as if we figure that if we have any minority status at all, that gives us carte blanche to treat other minorities like shit. No doubt we also take out our anger at how we're treated by others by vening animosity at some other marginalized group we feel is beneath us. Poor people, maybe, or immigrants. Especially people who compete with us for the resources our groups have to already struggle to get.
The thing is, this planet is something like a big lifeboat drifting through space. We're never going to survive as a species if we keep destroying others who are different from us in the slim hope that our group may get more of the pie if we do. We have to recognize that under it all, we all share the same space, and we're all going to have to recongize that everyone else here has just as much right to be here, and to their fair share of resources and respect as we do. More than ever, we need to be following the Rede, and other similar sentiments, and realize that as long as a person is not harming another, they have every right to their place in this world, and the support and acceptance of other people.
If someone confronts you on an ism, don't balk. Don't assume that they're full of shit because you're queer, and therefore you couldn't possibly be homophobic, or you're a woman and therefore you couldn't possibly be sexist. The simple fact is that if you believe, even on a very subtle level, that any one group is better, more "normal" or in any way more deserving of respect, acceptance, love and resources than any other group, you have isms you need to deal with. Instead of getting righteously indignant if someone tells you that a particular belief you hold is racist or homophobic, think about their words and take them to heart, and think about what you can do to change your atitude. The respect you give just may come back to you someday.
