hmm

[textualdeviance]

Random ponderation..

I think what it is I hate so much about extremes of gender roles is that they're so damned immature. The people who embody them seem to be living out the pink aisle and the war aisle at Toys R Us. The women are all playing dress-up and mommy and the men are all pretending to be GI Joe. Apparently no one wants to actually grow up and be a real adult with real maturity and responsibility.

Although maybe it's a self-fulfilling thing. We give our kids all these toys that reinforce the idea that all women do all day is clean, care for babies and make themselves pretty little objects for men, and that all men do all day is try to "win" some competition or other, preferably by the use of violence or other physical domination. The world of actual, complex, responsible adults is not represented in most children's toys. So unless a kid gets the message some other way about what being an adult entails, they never learn that there's more to life than makeup and automatic weapons.

Comments

[weetanya.livejournal.com]

all women do all day is clean, care for babies and make themselves pretty little objects for men

now that school is over, thi is *all* i have to do. thank god... heh

[textualdeviance.livejournal.com]

In your position, I don't blame you in the slightest. :)

[indiwise.livejournal.com]

Well, my daughter never played with Barbies, they weren't really allowed in the house..she read, and had a chemistry set, and a microscope. She did do all the 'let's play dressup and house, etc' stuff....and it didn't hurt her.

It's the parents' jobs to make sure that a balance is there. I did likewise with my son..the best things we can do for ourselves and others is raise open-minded kids.

These guys have been exposed to every shape/size/colour/creed/religion/age group imaginable..sincerely...and it's done nothing but broaden their scopes....and lesson the 'surprise/curiosity/shock' of seeing other ways of life/cultures.

[textualdeviance.livejournal.com]

It's the parents' jobs to make sure that a balance is there.

Absolutely. I think the vast majority of the problems kids have can be chalked up to lazy parents who prefer to let tv babysit their kid. Not that it's easy to insulate a kid from the damaging effects of mainstream media and other media-addled kids, but there's no point in doing nothing about it, either.

[van.livejournal.com]

I agree with you on a very large scale. Girls are taught to be "princesses" too, where nothing is ever denied them, and they are SO SPECIAL and everything, and so they grow up expecting the world to cater to them. And a lot of men get suckered into that view because they've been told to conquer and so they get the woman and conquer her.

My mom has this theory that people will act immaturely like this all their lives unless they graduate from college. I'm not sure how realistic her view is but from the people I've seen/know, it tends to be fairly accurate. My friends who have never gone to college, or dropped out of college, are still very immature and adhere to their childish stereotypes, whereas the friends of mine that finished college are a lot more focused on the real world and seem to realize equality between the genders and just aren't so damn pigheaded.

All I know really, though, is that the extreme genderstereo types bug the fuck out of me. And, the extreme homosexual stereotypes bug the hell out of me too (i.e. lesbians have to be raging, feminist bulldykes and gay men have to be flaming, Judy Garland worshipping pussies)

[textualdeviance.livejournal.com]

My mom has this theory that people will act immaturely like this all their lives unless they graduate from college.

That's interesting. I don't think it's 100% true, but I can see how it would make a difference. One of the things I've noticed with a lot of people who got married/had kids/got jobs right out of high school is that they feel like they never finished their childhoods, and so, consciously or no, they still keep trying to relive their youth, because they had to grow up too soon. I think college may give people more of a buffer between being dependent on one's parents for everything, and having to survive entirely on one's own.

And, the extreme homosexual stereotypes bug the hell out of me too (i.e. lesbians have to be raging, feminist bulldykes and gay men have to be flaming, Judy Garland worshipping pussies)

Well, fwiw, the backlash to that bothers me. There's a large contingent of "straight acting" types within the gay community who see the dykes and queens as an embarassment, and even detrimental to "the cause" and therefore heap tons of scorn on them. Truthfully, it's just a manifestation of the larger issues with gender roles, though. Gays and lesbians already have a lot of negative pressure on them from "mainstream" society because of their "aberrant" sexuality, and so being aberrant in their gender presentation as well is something many of them fear, and therefore hate in the people who display that. They've somehow gotten the idea that if they only act more "normal," somehow mainstream society will accept them, and they'll be free. Only that's simply not the case. It's true that mainstream society hates those who go outside their prescribed gender roles, but being gay in and of itself is part of that. When a man has sex with another man, especially as a bottom, he is thought to be taking on the female role, and therefore being unnatural. Likewise for women who aren't sexually passive. Those who seek to deny the rights of others for not being the "right" way don't make the distinction between straight acting types and flaming queens, nor do they feel any differently toward bisexuals, transgendered or intersexed people. To them, it's all "unnatural" (even though it isn't) and sinful and to be condemned. It's the same reason they hate feminists and men who cry. They've demonized men and women who go outside their "proper" gender role whether that be sexually, physically or by manner of dress, speech or action.

The fact remains that the queens and dykes and fairies and butches exist. Obviously, that's not all there is within the queer community -- it's a group as diverse as any other group of humans who share a single trait-- but they do exist, in quite large numbers, and many of them are some of the community's strongest, most vocal and active crusaders. It was, after all, drag queens at Stonewall, and your average dyke or fairy generally has a harder time staying closeted, so their natural visibility is an important factor, too. Many people feel comfortable openly disparaging gays because they don't think they know any, because all the gays they do know are busy being straight acting and "discreet." The more-visible flamboyant ones help stem that. So bring on the diesels and queens, if you ask me. They're not ashamed of who they are, nor do they try to shame others for being who they are.

[mrdorbin.livejournal.com]

There's a vast, untapped market for Foreign Policy Barbie(tm). Help Barbie and her friends negotiate a mutually beneficial trade agreement while maintaining a focus on local human rights!

[textualdeviance.livejournal.com]

Ahahahahahaah!

That would be awesome. :)