Ponderation ranch

[textualdeviance]

It's getting toward the end of the day, and I'm tired, so it must be time for some slightly weird thinking out loud...

I wonder if it's true that people tend to gravitate toward others they consider sexually attractive, even if they don't actually want to have sex with all or even any of the people in question. I'm sure there's some level of that here and there simply because of cultural conditioning that tells us that "attractive" people are better people in general. But I also wonder if there's something about even friendship-level attractions that has a sort of... chemistry component that's based at least a little in "hm. hot person."

I'm really not the right person to answer a question like that, being as how I've been blessed (cursed, really) with the whole thing about finding just about everyone attractive on some level if their personality is interesting to me. I spose monosexuals might be able to answer it better, perhaps: Do you find yourself more interested in people you consider attractive (however you define that), even if they're not the gender you get the hots for?

Comments

[flippet.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I find myself doing that to a degree. It's unconscious, for the most part, and I'm sometimes really ashamed of myself when I realize I'm doing it, especially because I know it's done to me, too.

But the thing is - I think that often what attracts us sexually is also what attracts us generally - so where do you draw that line? And 'attractiveness' is such a nebulous concept anyway. Someone may not be physically attractive, but if they've got something else that's better than average - a skill or talent, say - that can bump them up on the attractiveness scale.


I wonder how much of it is about attempted social climbing, too? I find myself more generally attracted to people at or above my own level of attractiveness - and I'm kind of turned off when I sense that people below my level of attractiveness are attracted to me.

(These are all gut reactions, btw - I don't do this consciously.)

Because it's true - in this society, attractiveness has value. Those who have it, have more social security, generally speaking. People are more inclined to give them things, etc. Those of us less attractive usually have to work harder (unless something else overrides it, like intelligence, etc), just to be sure we stay afloat. So it only makes biological sense that we'd try to ride as many coattails as possible.

(Plus there's the thing that, especially speaking historically, often people who were less attractive may have been diseased in some way - disfigurements, etc. It made survival sense to stay away.)

But yeah - when you stop and think logically, how awful is that? So I try to override the natural tendency whenever I notice it, and value people for their core qualities, not for what's on the surface.