![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Jan. 30th, 2012 01:11 am
Peopled out
It's past my bedtime, and after spending most of the last 5 days busy as hell with adoption and chorus stuff, I'm exhausted and should go sleep. Need to blather just a little, though:
Why is it that I feel so overwhelmed being surrounded by a lot of people, and yet when I'm alone, I spend an awful lot of time living vicariously through the social lives of others?
( Lonely in a crowd )
So, yeah. Not anti-social. Just easily overwhelmed. Really, I think I've always sought out genuine connections with other human beings, but before I figured this out, I was, as they say, looking for it in all the wrong places. People don't go to clubs or cons or whatever to have three-hour conversations about philosophy, French politics and cat behavior. So I'm not going to find that there. And given how much bandwidth they take, why would I even try? I'm not being rude or stuck up or think I'm better than other people when I avoid big parties or dances or, well, endless rehearsals. They just take so damned much energy, and fry my brain so much that I can't do those things without having a lot of downtime in between them.
The happiest moments in my life are when I'm chatting and cuddling with the people I love. And I'm not going to find that stuff in a sea of random people.
Why is it that I feel so overwhelmed being surrounded by a lot of people, and yet when I'm alone, I spend an awful lot of time living vicariously through the social lives of others?
( Lonely in a crowd )
So, yeah. Not anti-social. Just easily overwhelmed. Really, I think I've always sought out genuine connections with other human beings, but before I figured this out, I was, as they say, looking for it in all the wrong places. People don't go to clubs or cons or whatever to have three-hour conversations about philosophy, French politics and cat behavior. So I'm not going to find that there. And given how much bandwidth they take, why would I even try? I'm not being rude or stuck up or think I'm better than other people when I avoid big parties or dances or, well, endless rehearsals. They just take so damned much energy, and fry my brain so much that I can't do those things without having a lot of downtime in between them.
The happiest moments in my life are when I'm chatting and cuddling with the people I love. And I'm not going to find that stuff in a sea of random people.
Tags: