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Jun. 27th, 2011 10:58 am
Romance: Novel
A bunch of random thoughts about gender, love and instinct inspired by an exasperating conversation from this morning...
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Flowers and jewelry are fine, but what's really romantic is knowing what the person you love likes, and doing that. If s/he really does want flowers and jewelry, then do that. If s/he'd rather have 3 weeks traipsing around the UK, then do that. ;) The trick is being observant enough to know what's really important and meaningful to the person in question, and not just guessing based on gender stereotypes or some vague set of vital statistics.
Romance, at it's core, is about the feeling one gets when it's clear that someone truly does like you and pays attention to you. You want romantic gestures to say not just "I Love You" (tm Hallmark) but "I know who you are, I like thinking about you and being with you, and I enjoy doing things that make you happy."
And from the other side: If you don't know what makes your beloved happy and thus go looking for generic advice on that? You're doing it wrong.
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( More blather )
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Flowers and jewelry are fine, but what's really romantic is knowing what the person you love likes, and doing that. If s/he really does want flowers and jewelry, then do that. If s/he'd rather have 3 weeks traipsing around the UK, then do that. ;) The trick is being observant enough to know what's really important and meaningful to the person in question, and not just guessing based on gender stereotypes or some vague set of vital statistics.
Romance, at it's core, is about the feeling one gets when it's clear that someone truly does like you and pays attention to you. You want romantic gestures to say not just "I Love You" (tm Hallmark) but "I know who you are, I like thinking about you and being with you, and I enjoy doing things that make you happy."
And from the other side: If you don't know what makes your beloved happy and thus go looking for generic advice on that? You're doing it wrong.
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( More blather )