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Nov. 30th, 2010 01:07 am
Wasting precious time
In advance of my usual year-in-review post...
Have been kicking myself lately because I feel like I've wasted this year. Unlike most recent years, I haven't been working toward some sort of major goal, and I have very little to show for these past 12 months save ~18k words on my novel, a few more video/photo skills, and a shitton of fanworks. The few months I've been working have helped us pay off some bills, but that's about it.
I've felt guilty for this because I wondered if maybe I'd distracted myself from doing something more valuable by drowning in fandom stuff. But now I'm realizing something even more sad: The fandom drowning is because there's nothing else to do.
Our next major goal is the kid thing, and that requires so much money that all I can do to try to reach that goal is the daily grind at a soul-sucking job. With the money thing so critical, that means cutting back on travel and other big expenditures. With most of our friends busy with little ones, school or other stuff, that means not a lot of social time (even though we'd love more.)
So what's left? What can we do to keep ourselves from going mental while we're waiting for the bank account to fill up? Entertainment/hobbies. We're both watching a hell of a lot of TV, M's up to his ears in geocaching stuff, and I went ass over biscuits for a random British actor and his silly little dinosaur show. It's not sexy, but there you have it.
I suppose theoretically, I could have healthier, more sensible hobbies. I sort of did over the summer, what with puttering in the back yard and watching birdies. But somehow, the fandom thing is more... hmm... psychologically satisfying for me. I have suspicions about why that is, but regardless, that's how things are.
Once I have a squirmy, tiny human around to occupy my days, I'm sure my fascination for all things Cute Dino Geek will subside. But for now? It works.
Yeah, I wish I had something more tangible to show for this year besides several dozen fics, vids and graphics of questionable morality and artistic merit, but I could certainly be doing far worse.
Have been kicking myself lately because I feel like I've wasted this year. Unlike most recent years, I haven't been working toward some sort of major goal, and I have very little to show for these past 12 months save ~18k words on my novel, a few more video/photo skills, and a shitton of fanworks. The few months I've been working have helped us pay off some bills, but that's about it.
I've felt guilty for this because I wondered if maybe I'd distracted myself from doing something more valuable by drowning in fandom stuff. But now I'm realizing something even more sad: The fandom drowning is because there's nothing else to do.
Our next major goal is the kid thing, and that requires so much money that all I can do to try to reach that goal is the daily grind at a soul-sucking job. With the money thing so critical, that means cutting back on travel and other big expenditures. With most of our friends busy with little ones, school or other stuff, that means not a lot of social time (even though we'd love more.)
So what's left? What can we do to keep ourselves from going mental while we're waiting for the bank account to fill up? Entertainment/hobbies. We're both watching a hell of a lot of TV, M's up to his ears in geocaching stuff, and I went ass over biscuits for a random British actor and his silly little dinosaur show. It's not sexy, but there you have it.
I suppose theoretically, I could have healthier, more sensible hobbies. I sort of did over the summer, what with puttering in the back yard and watching birdies. But somehow, the fandom thing is more... hmm... psychologically satisfying for me. I have suspicions about why that is, but regardless, that's how things are.
Once I have a squirmy, tiny human around to occupy my days, I'm sure my fascination for all things Cute Dino Geek will subside. But for now? It works.
Yeah, I wish I had something more tangible to show for this year besides several dozen fics, vids and graphics of questionable morality and artistic merit, but I could certainly be doing far worse.
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