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Mar. 16th, 2010 07:33 pm
Random thought about friendship
It just occurred to me that I never bother trying to make friends with muggles (for lack of a better concept.)
Unless I know someone is some variety of non-mainstream (queer, geeky, atheist, pagan, arts nerd, etc. Or some combination thereof.) I just don't even go there. Not that I'm hostile or anything. I just don't try to make closer connections.
I imagine some folks might think this is closed-minded, but to me, it's just efficient. Without at least some level of personal experience of what it's like to live outside of mainstream culture, there's really no way a given person is ever going to understand me and thus be able to connect with me on an emotional level. It saves us both a lot of time, energy and confusion to not try to make that happen. Life's too short to waste it that way.
The unfortunate part about this is that it may mean I miss out on some of the quieter non-muggles--the ones who pass in normal society unless they make a point of being out about it. Still, I think it's been better, on balance, than my previous habit of banging my head against a wall trying to get someone to feel something for me that they're not capable of feeling.
Besides. It helps weed out the people who only want me around as a token--as some way to show that they're cool/hip/liberal because they have a weird friend--and not because they really care about who I am.
Unless I know someone is some variety of non-mainstream (queer, geeky, atheist, pagan, arts nerd, etc. Or some combination thereof.) I just don't even go there. Not that I'm hostile or anything. I just don't try to make closer connections.
I imagine some folks might think this is closed-minded, but to me, it's just efficient. Without at least some level of personal experience of what it's like to live outside of mainstream culture, there's really no way a given person is ever going to understand me and thus be able to connect with me on an emotional level. It saves us both a lot of time, energy and confusion to not try to make that happen. Life's too short to waste it that way.
The unfortunate part about this is that it may mean I miss out on some of the quieter non-muggles--the ones who pass in normal society unless they make a point of being out about it. Still, I think it's been better, on balance, than my previous habit of banging my head against a wall trying to get someone to feel something for me that they're not capable of feeling.
Besides. It helps weed out the people who only want me around as a token--as some way to show that they're cool/hip/liberal because they have a weird friend--and not because they really care about who I am.
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