Insomniac memeing

I'm officially done with finals, after sending off a report today. Got two of my grades in: a B in psych and a C- in jazz. I feel shitty about the C-, but it's a passing grade, which is what I needed. Unless I completely cock up spring term, I should graduate with a solid B+ average, and I'm comfortable with that. I kind of feel that the B+/A- range is really where I am with most things, and it's nice to have a GPA that reflects that.

I've enjoyed the last couple of days of doing next to nothing. After being away from home for three weeks, I needed the downtime in my actual home, instead of the bachelor pad. It's a bit frustrating to not be able to do much, though. I keep looking around and seeing projects I need to work on here, and I just know I won't have the time or energy for any of them. We're going to SD for a few days starting Friday, and then I'll have five more days here before spring term starts. Really not a lot of time to work on big things like filing the stack of old bills sitting on my desk, or sorting through the contents of the closet where things go to die. Time isn't really the issue, I suppose. It's more a matter of energy and mental bandwidth, both of which are in short supply. I'd rather play video games and fuck around with memes. To wit:

Gacked this movie quote meme from markxiii

( I do feel like a zombie these days... )

I'm also still working on the life soundtrack meme. Should have another installment of that posted tomorrowish. It's been quite the nostalgia trip so far. Running into that pic of my ex just kind of capped it off. I'm in this really weird drowning in regret headspace right now. I know I don't have a lot longer to live, what with my various illnesses, and so now that my life's half over, I'm regretting the time I wasted on stupid things like getting married at 19 or spending endless hours in flamewars about petty, pointless shit.

But then I also have to remind myself that wallowing in regret is itself a waste of time. Looking back and evaluating one's life and learning from one's mistakes--and one's triumphs, too--is good. And it's also good to remember some truly fun times and wonderful people I've had the privilege to share time with. But really, I can't go back and change things like getting on the wrong meds or picking a fight that ended a friendship with someone I loved.

Sometimes I do wish I could get in touch with some old friends again and try to repair some of the damage, but life has moved on for all of us, and there would be no picking up where we left off, especially with bitterness and resentment being the most recent memories. The best I could hope for is that we'd both grown up and learned from our stupidness and somehow manage to bury the hatchet and start over or something. But that's unlikely--and near impossible in some cases. I did some really stupid, awful stuff back in the day, and I wouldn't be surprised if there are still plenty of people who would like to see me twisting in the wind.

Now, getting back in touch with old friends that I just kind of accidentally lost--that I'd love to do. I'm actually kind of hoping that I can have the summer off after I graduate, because I want to focus on getting some sort of a social life back together (among other projects.) At the very least, there WILL be some sort of Thank God I'm Home Again party. Hopefully uninterrupted by power outages this time, dammit.

Awesome

Next time some nitwit goes on about how gay is unnatural, point at this link.